The Mom Test

One of the greatest obstacles you’ll face when testing out new ideas is getting people to tell you what they really think. The moment you ask someone, they’re so likely to tell you what you want to hear, it’s nearly impossible to get a raw, unfiltered answer.

We know this, so we use phrases that give them permission, like:

• “Just be honest”

• “I won’t be offended”

• “Tell me what you really think”

But deep down, we know these phrases are useless. They don’t remove the pressure.

Thankfully, there’s a better way to test your ideas. I’ve been using it a ton as I interview folks for the book I’m working on right now.

Let me tell you about “The Mom Test”…

The Mom Test

This strategy comes from a fantastic book by Rob Fitzpatrick, and here’s the premise:

Typically, moms are our biggest fans. They think we can do anything, and we love them for it (yes, I know this is a stereotype and our stories vary, but roll with me for a moment).

The mom test offers a way to get feedback so objectively, even your own mama won’t tiptoe around your feelings.

Quite a promise, right?

The Mom Test has 3 simple rules:

1. Talk about their life instead of your idea.

2. Ask about specifics in the past instead of opinions about the future.

3. Talk less and listen more.

Let’s break it down.

Rule #1: Talk about their life instead of your idea.

Our typical approach is “Hey, I’m writing about ________. What do you think? Does it make sense? Is there a market for this?”

This method practically guarantees you won’t get an honest response. So here’s the catch: Don’t even tell them you have an idea.

It sounds strange, I know. How do you get feedback on an idea if you never mention you have one?

The trick is to say something like, “Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about [your topic]. Can I ask you some questions about your experience with that?”

Then, when you chat, make the whole conversation about them. Since you know what you’re writing about, tailor your questions accordingly. They’ll feel zero pressure to affirm your idea. Plus they’ll feel valued because you’re asking them to share about their life (which people rarely do). People love talking about themselves.

It’s a win for them and a win for you.

And if they ask you a direct question about why you’re asking, give a vague answer and gently redirect the conversation back to them. This isn’t to be shifty or deceptive. It’s simply the only way to keep them honest and pressure-free. The goal of these conversations isn’t to share about your idea; it’s for them to tell you about their life. This honors them and provides better intel about your topic.

Rule #2: Ask about specifics in the past instead of opinions about the future.

Nonfiction writers must become avid students of their reader’s problems. Where do they feel stuck or frustrated as it relates to your topic?

Too often, writers pitch their pre-determined solution, then ask, “Would you try this?” or “Does that sound reasonable?”

It’s easy for them to say yes (again, to make you happy), but who’s to say they really would? Not helpful.

Instead, ask them about their habits.

What have they already tried?

What are they doing now to solve the problem?

You’re after history, not theory. This is valuable for two reasons:

1. First, if they’ve done nothing, they don’t see it as a big problem.
   
   If the problem isn’t urgent enough that readers are actively seeking a remedy, you need to dig deeper or pivot to a different topic. If you have to persuade readers that a problem is serious, you’ve already lost.
   

2. Asking them what they’ve already tried sharpens your solution.
   
   Let’s say you have a proposed solution in mind, but several people say they’ve already tried that and it didn’t work. Well, now you can adjust your solution. Or pivot to something better. Instead of assuming readers will love your solution, have a few conversations and adjust it so it’s more realistic and less predictable.

And lastly…

Rule # 3: Talk less and listen more.

It’s easy to violate this rule because you’ve been studying your topic, so you have lots of thoughts. Passion produces gab. Resist that temptation.

Instead, listen for specific phrases. Words you wouldn’t think to use. Angles you wouldn’t see on your own. Sprinkle those insights into your writing. The more your readers see their world in your words, the more invested they’ll be.

Writing is listening

The Mom Test has transformed the way I test out ideas. Good writing comes from deep listening. So get out there and talk to folks.

And thankfully, you’ll never have to utter those dreaded words again: Please, just be honest. Here’s to less pressure, better conversations, and richer writing.

I’m rooting for you,

—Will

What’s a best practice you use when interviewing people? I read every comment, so I’d love to hear from you.

If you enjoyed this, would you share it with someone who would benefit?

👉 Become a paid subscriber today and get access to ‘Writing with Will”, a behind-the-scenes podcast where I document in real-time the process of writing and publishing my first book. You can sample the first episode here.

Hey, I’m Will Parker Anderson, a Senior Editor at Penguin Random House Christian. A lot of writers feel trapped on the outside, like writing and publishing are an elite inner circle they’re not welcome to join, and they feel alone & intimidated.

I want to change that, so I created Writers Circle—where I make insider knowledge open to everyone, so writers like you feel seen, equipped, and encouraged as you steward the words God has given you. My goal is to make writing less lonely and your next step more clear.