Well, my mom was dead by the time I started writing fiction although she did read my non-fiction book which was 10 years earlier. Made the really great way to get an honest opinion is to ask your teenage daughter. What teenager holds back? After reading the first three chapters or so of my first book when I knew my daughter absolutely hated me for everything. She looked up and said, “it might be okay, maybe keep going.” That was HUGE!!!
Rule #2 is the one that changed how I think about research. Asking 'what have you already tried?' reveals so much more than 'would you try this?' You're not testing your solution. You're testing whether the problem is real enough that people are already doing something about it. That distinction is huge. If nobody has tried anything, either the problem isn't urgent or they don't believe a solution exists. Both are useful data.
Will, I love the premise of the Mom test. And I know that my kids, now adults, share their ideas with me and we have just these conversations. However, there is a caveat and I think it's important that people who take your advice and use the Mom Test understand. Parents with even early stage dementia may offer a very defensive and angry response. My work, my research has been focused exploring the difference between the sandwich and now Panini generation. And I do remember when she thought there were so much relevance and impressive research in my work. No longer is this the case.
I've finally come to terms with (and unfortunately, it hurt to get there). In my experience with my mother in this stage of her life with dementia she sees through a narrow lens. I write specifically about the difference between the sandwich and Panini generations. Now, any attempt to engage her triggers her defenses. I get what would be the equivalent of a teenage eye roll or loud sigh and an angry response of how wrong I am followed by a recounting much she did to care for her mother and in-laws in the 1980s as part of the sandwich generation. My Mom is a highly educated and once curious woman, but that version seems to be gone. And no matter how I try to slowly carefully lovingly describe my work as data driven forward facing she takes offense. That is because her short term memory does not hold any real chance against her long-term memory.
To test my theory, we took a trip down memory lane after the horrible events of The Washington Post this week. Together we discussed every article I ever wrote for The Washington Post.Not only did she remember them, but she had very positive things to say about the writing the interviews and even the issue I was writing about.
So an exception to what I considered to be a very helpful article is simply --unfortunately, this doesn't work once they enter the world of any of these horrible degenerative diseases.
And yes, I am well aware of the irony. Thank you for writing this Will.
I have used something similar in helping my son talk to people. I tell him to talk about the other person to them. Eventually, they will begin asking about him. It has helped a lot. I have never heard of The Mom Test. Thanks!!
This is a super helpful article. I wish I knew about it for my first book… I’ll definitely use it for my next! Thanks for writing this for us!
I have one comment about the bit where you wrote:
“If the problem isn’t urgent enough that readers are actively seeking a remedy, you need to dig deeper or pivot to a different topic. If you have to persuade readers that a problem is serious, you’ve already lost.”
If we take this on, it means we’ll always be writing to the readers’ felt needs. And I 100% agree that we should do this. But occasionally, a person writes because there’s an *unfelt* need. These books are less desired and more prophetic. There maybe isn’t a market for it. Maybe people are gladly walking towards their own doom and doing nothing about it.
I think this is a small percentage of non-fiction writing, but an important one. Would you agree, Will, or think that until the felt need has surfaced in a society, there’s no point writing?
Well, my mom was dead by the time I started writing fiction although she did read my non-fiction book which was 10 years earlier. Made the really great way to get an honest opinion is to ask your teenage daughter. What teenager holds back? After reading the first three chapters or so of my first book when I knew my daughter absolutely hated me for everything. She looked up and said, “it might be okay, maybe keep going.” That was HUGE!!!
Rule #2 is the one that changed how I think about research. Asking 'what have you already tried?' reveals so much more than 'would you try this?' You're not testing your solution. You're testing whether the problem is real enough that people are already doing something about it. That distinction is huge. If nobody has tried anything, either the problem isn't urgent or they don't believe a solution exists. Both are useful data.
Thanks Will. I think I’m going to be a better friend after reading this definitely a better listener. 😊
Will, I love the premise of the Mom test. And I know that my kids, now adults, share their ideas with me and we have just these conversations. However, there is a caveat and I think it's important that people who take your advice and use the Mom Test understand. Parents with even early stage dementia may offer a very defensive and angry response. My work, my research has been focused exploring the difference between the sandwich and now Panini generation. And I do remember when she thought there were so much relevance and impressive research in my work. No longer is this the case.
I've finally come to terms with (and unfortunately, it hurt to get there). In my experience with my mother in this stage of her life with dementia she sees through a narrow lens. I write specifically about the difference between the sandwich and Panini generations. Now, any attempt to engage her triggers her defenses. I get what would be the equivalent of a teenage eye roll or loud sigh and an angry response of how wrong I am followed by a recounting much she did to care for her mother and in-laws in the 1980s as part of the sandwich generation. My Mom is a highly educated and once curious woman, but that version seems to be gone. And no matter how I try to slowly carefully lovingly describe my work as data driven forward facing she takes offense. That is because her short term memory does not hold any real chance against her long-term memory.
To test my theory, we took a trip down memory lane after the horrible events of The Washington Post this week. Together we discussed every article I ever wrote for The Washington Post.Not only did she remember them, but she had very positive things to say about the writing the interviews and even the issue I was writing about.
So an exception to what I considered to be a very helpful article is simply --unfortunately, this doesn't work once they enter the world of any of these horrible degenerative diseases.
And yes, I am well aware of the irony. Thank you for writing this Will.
I have used something similar in helping my son talk to people. I tell him to talk about the other person to them. Eventually, they will begin asking about him. It has helped a lot. I have never heard of The Mom Test. Thanks!!
This is a super helpful article. I wish I knew about it for my first book… I’ll definitely use it for my next! Thanks for writing this for us!
I have one comment about the bit where you wrote:
“If the problem isn’t urgent enough that readers are actively seeking a remedy, you need to dig deeper or pivot to a different topic. If you have to persuade readers that a problem is serious, you’ve already lost.”
If we take this on, it means we’ll always be writing to the readers’ felt needs. And I 100% agree that we should do this. But occasionally, a person writes because there’s an *unfelt* need. These books are less desired and more prophetic. There maybe isn’t a market for it. Maybe people are gladly walking towards their own doom and doing nothing about it.
I think this is a small percentage of non-fiction writing, but an important one. Would you agree, Will, or think that until the felt need has surfaced in a society, there’s no point writing?
Great summary. I love the book too.
I was thinking the Mom Test would be: Don’t write something that your mom would be embarrassed to read or embarrassed for her friends to read!
This is great advice. Thank you as always!
Love the mom test.
Worn shoe leather is at the heart of all great stories. Good advise
Such a good idea! As someone currently (and struggling with) writing a book, this is great advice and something to remember.